What a woman wants from Lola's blog

What a woman wants

by Juliana George



Finding love has never been more straightforward than it is in the age of online dating. It can be as simple as taking a compatibility questionnaire or, if you prefer, swiping right. However, online pro les do not often tell the entire story, and meeting up with someone you met online can result in some unexpected revelations. Understanding the real person behind the pro le is critical, and before you can determine whether or not to commit to someone, you need to know what you're looking for in a partner and what they are looking for in a partner.

"Any successful relationship is founded on some fundamental, down-to-earth characteristics," according to certi ed psychotherapist Suzanne Degges-White. While super cial characteristics such as physical attractiveness and sexual chemistry are early indicators of compatibility, there are a few more signi cant, must-have characteristics that women seek in the man they hope to spend the rest of their lives with—characteristics that are less likely to diminish over time.

While no two women are the same, we've compiled a list of eight essential characteristics that experts believe all women desire in a man. Continue reading if you require any pointers.


Con dence

When a man believes in himself, understands who he is, and knows what he wants, it is extremely attractive to a woman and is usually something she can tell simply by his attitude.


It's critical to distinguish between having healthy self-esteem and an in ated ego. While women desire a con dent and self-assured man, they do not desire a domineering man, requires constant attention or believes he is the most important person in the world.

Con dence entails being at ease with who you are and believing in yourself. It also entails believing that you are worth spending time getting to know. Women respond positively to the optimistic energy that a con dent man radiates into the world, as long as that con dence does not devolve into egotism. When a man is not compelled to compete with or denigrate others to elevate himself, he will go a long way toward capturing a woman's attention.


Trustworthiness


When a man is trustworthy and honest, he immediately becomes more attractive and desirable to a woman. If he is reliable, honest, sincere, and speaks from the heart, he is a man worth following, as others will take him at his word. "Trust and trustworthiness enable relationships to grow," Degges- White explains. After all, a woman has to know that she can rely on her guy for the relationship to continue long, just as he should rely on her.


Integrity

Integrity entails virtue and a solid moral character. Women desire a noble, just, and ethical man. In terms of relationships, having integrity can assist a guy in developing his link with a woman by guiding his behaviour and enabling him to be the best partner he can be. Bonus points if the man's integrity extends outside the partnership and he can treat others fairly and with kindness.


Compassion


Compassionate and empathic men have an advantage when it comes to attracting women. Women want a partner they can con de in, whether it's about a poor day at work or their most profound dreams and worries. Empathy is the capacity to understand another person's point of view and to empathize with their circumstances. Women are particularly attracted to guys who possess the ability and desire to demonstrate concern and care for others.


Availability of Emotions


Women like a man who is emotionally honest over one who is emotionally distant and inaccessible. While expressing sentiments fully and openly may seem unusual or awkward at rst, it is critical to demonstrate a sensitive, emotional, and human side of oneself to have a lasting relationship. Women like a man who is not scared to express and communicate their actual feelings openly, rather than a man who keeps everything bottled up inside them. And sure, this may include discussing previous relationships and giving details about your life.


Respect


To have a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, both partners must respect one another. If a woman feels unimportant, disposable, or ill-treated by a man, she will likely abandon him to escape a shattered heart. "When someone feels disrespectful or patronized, the relationship is more likely to end sooner than later," Degges-White explains. A woman will gravitate toward a man who shows her concern and treats her with the deference she deserves.

A woman will evaluate your abilities to demonstrate respect for her and others, particularly her friends and family. A man who can show respect for others is a leader, and this will not go ignored.


Possessing a Sense of Humor


You do not have to be a stand-up comedian or a comedy writer to captivate a woman's attention, but the ability to laugh at yourself, joke around, and have a sense of humour is quite attractive. "When two individuals laugh at the same thing, they are essentially saying, 'I share your perspective, your values, and most de nitely what you nd hilarious,'" explains Jeffrey Hall, PhD, associate professor of communication studies (University of Kansas). According to Hall's research on the relationship between humour and romance, the more times a man attempts to be humorous, and the more times a woman laughs at his jokes, the more likely she is to be romantically attracted. It's fundamental physics that a man who can radiate a pleasant, joyous, and positive energy into the world will attract a lady.


Maturity



The likelihood is that if the aforementioned characteristics apply to you, you've already mastered the maturity aspect. It's vital to demonstrate to a woman that you are not just mature emotionally and capable of maintaining an open channel of communication but also mentally mature and capable of acting like a grown-up when the time comes. You can demonstrate this by reasoning, refraining from emotional outbursts, and resolving con icts collaboratively after serious discussion. That is not to suggest you cannot have fun and be foolish together, as displaying your vulnerable side is a sign of maturity in and of itself.


#1 You have an opinion of your own.
Women do not expect you to always agree with them. Nobody truly desires that. The majority of people like to engage in conversation and confront their own thinking to remain receptive to new ideas, which is also true for women. We don't want a doormat; we want someone who knows who he is, what he stands for, and how to utilize his voice effectively. You are free to express yourselves, gentlemen! Treat her with respect, and she will reciprocate.



#2 You understand how to dress and are capable of dressing nicely.


This is not simply about how things appear on the outside. When a woman sees that you can dress well and pay attention to details, such as showing up and being presentable, she perceives that you can pay attention to details. Then if you take care with how you portray yourself, how you carry yourself, that same level of attention to detail, care, and awareness will be used in a relationship.



#3 You understand how to communicate effectively.


This also relates to feeling secure with you, gentlemen. A lady has to understand that you will not hit a wall or become verbally abusive if you become angry or irritated. That you are rmly in control of your emotions rather than being governed by them, as this is dangerous. Women, at least high-value women, seek a man capable of resolving disagreements with compassion and conversation. Both parties seek a solution rather than only attempting to be correct.





#4 You have a reason for being.


This is a signi cant one! Women place a premium on having passion in their lives, having things they enjoy, and being happy. Additionally, for you guys! It is critical to remember that happiness originates within you. If you're unhappy with yourself, your life situation, or the way things are going, a relationship will not make you feel better. Indeed, a woman would walk away because if you are unhappy in your life and place too much pressure on her to repair you or make you happy, she would feel resentful and ee. This is not about owning a business or amassing billions of money; purpose implies that you understand your value proposition in your profession and are content with your life. This is a signi cant attraction; it genuinely draws people to you in general.



#5 You have etiquette


A woman will assess your behaviour toward others. Do you exude a positive aura? Do you treat others with decency? Even if you believe no one is watching. This demonstrates to her that she is secure with you, emotionally safe with you. This is not about knowing where the side of the plate the knife should go; this is about respect. Do you hold her and the people around you in high regard? This prompts her to envision you with children, in a relationship, or with anything else in life. Therefore, always treat others with respect, just as you would want to be treated.


What a woman appreciates in a man


We prefer that you simply be attentive and receptive. Women appreciate it when a man understands himself, has worked on himself, has something to teach her, and knows who he is and what he brings to the table. Consider what you desire, correct? You want a woman who is emotionally available, aware of her identity, capable of being there for you, and also con dent; thus, ask yourself what you truly desire in a relationship and a partner, and what qualities do I need to develop in myself to obtain and maintain that level.

Perhaps it's learning to take better care of yourself and going to the gym. Maybe it's developing the ability to be candid and optimistic rather than adopting a victim mindset and blaming the world rather than rising to the situation. I discuss this extensively on my why women ghost blog, which I highly recommend if this has occurred to you. Whatever it is, it's bene cial to take a

good look at yourself and then take the necessary steps to become the type of man who attracts the kind of lady you desire in your life.


#1 Women adore a man who reassures them.
This does not mean you must ght another man for us or pick battles to demonstrate your masculinity to the girl. That is not the case at all! You don't want to choose a battle with someone and demonstrate how you show your masculinity to a woman. I can assure you that the instant you do that, she will be desperate to ee because it is precisely what you do not want to do.



There are numerous methods to demonstrate to a lady that she can feel safe or secure in your presence. And it is not a matter of physical prowess. Assume you take her out to supper and see she is shivering. Present her with your jacket. Or, if you don't have one, simply ask the waiter to turn down the air conditioning.
This demonstrates that you are concerned about how she feels. In a crowded environment, ensure that you hold her hand or even have her walk in front of you while you grip her waist. Inquire as to whether she is feeling well and having a lovely time.

Additionally, escorting her to her door, or even calling her an Uber, taking her to the Uber, and asking her to contact you when she returns home establishes the boundaries necessary for a woman to feel secure. Assume she forgets. When she returns home, she gives you around an hour and never texts you. This is the point at which you text her. Perhaps she dozed off, but guess what? When she awakens, she'll discover a text from you asking if she arrived safely. This demonstrates to a lady that you are in control of her safety.



Additionally, a woman wants to know that you will advocate for her and ensure she is treated fairly. That is, with friends, family, and coworkers.


#2 Women adore truthfulness and trust.


Trust. We appreciate honesty, presence, and trust. Many males believe they must play hard these days. I am a rm believer that if a man and a woman genuinely care for one other, they would avoid games that undermine trust and, occasionally, honesty. You begin creating trust by being on time for your dates and phoning when you say you will.

Women remember when you say, "I'll call you tomorrow," or "I'd want to see you tomorrow." Therefore, if you say this, act on it! I hear a lot of ladies dating men and having a terri c time, and then the male says, "I'd love to see you tomorrow." She con rms nicely, and he plans to attend happy hour with his pals the next day. This does not appear to be a pleasant situation, gentlemen! This is what occurs in a woman's head when you do this: "He isn't serious, and I'm not interested in devoting my time to him." Men often ask why this occurs, and the reason is that a high-value lady would avoid setting a date with a man who does not keep his promise.

Men, if you cannot keep your word at the start of a date, a lady will not take you seriously.


#3 Women appreciate a man who carries himself nicely.

Declare your presence. How you hold yourself is signi cant. Proudly enter a room with her. Con dently introduce yourself to her friends, and perhaps even deliver a joke from time to time. Many guys believe that presence is solely about showing up; while this is true, it is also about how you show up.


#4 Women desire to feel signi  cant to you.


If you're in a relationship, she wants to feel as if she's the centre of attention. Are you listening, gentlemen? Women desire to feel invincible. If all males could get this correctly, it would make so many of us ladies happy. Inform her and demonstrate your affection for her. This is accomplished through involving her in aspects of your life such as work, friends, and family. Not only are you informing her, but you are also demonstrating to her. When you include her in your life and want her to be a part of it, she feels signi cant.

Make way for her. Wait for her to take a seat before responding. Offer to assist her when she is carrying bags, particularly when she is shopping. Men, a woman does not want to be responsible for her bags when a man can do so for her. She does not wish to be loading the bags while you observe. These are small acts of gentlemanly behaviour that demonstrate your concern for her and desire to assist her.

Compliment her and deliver owers to her. Recognize her preferred colour. Inform her of your favourite clothing on her and make a note of it. Recognize her favourite artists and purchase concert tickets for her. Bear in mind her preferences. Bring that masculine energy to the surface.

#5 Women adore a man who listens to them.


Communication is critical. Now, this is what I frequently hear from my men in relationships: "I provide for her, and she has enough money to do anything she wants with her girlfriends, and she can buy anytime she wants." Why isn't she content?" This is where you go wrong because it is not about material possessions. Women desire to have their voices heard. They want communication with you. Don't simply return home, turn on the television, and ask, "What's for dinner?" When you return home, engage your partner in discussion. And, yes, I understand. Even if you're having a hectic day and don't feel like talking, which I know since we've all been there, this is where affection comes into play. Simply embrace her, kiss her, and tell her you love her. Inform her that you've had a dif cult day and are relieved to see her. These are the details she will recall. I can assure you that she will quickly have a hot supper on the plate. And, if you're lucky, a back rub.


#6 Women place a premium on maturity.


Above all, maturity. Maturity is seductive, gentlemen. When chatting with so many women, the number one turn-off is an immature man. Call and text her with meaningful conversations, not one-line responses that you may copy and paste to another female. We want to see initiative. That is, do not text her and ask, "How are you?" She responds, and you never respond. What exactly is that? That is not an indication of a man who is loyal and respectful. Get directly to the point and avoid sitting there all day texting her. These are not healthy forms of virtual interactions.

There is a difference between texting someone for an extended period and texting a few times here and there. However, I have observed a large number of people texting throughout the day. That is, at least 20 text messages every 30 to 45 minutes during the day. While a woman may desire your attention, a wise woman will interpret this as a red ag. Therefore, avoid interfering with her day, particularly if she is on vacation with her girlfriends or out with her girlfriends for the day, as the case may be.

Men, please do not text a woman and invite her to meet you for a drink, then remark, "You're buying," and then chuckle. For example, the woman may offer to pay for your date afterwards, since she may like to leave as soon as possible after dating someone who is not maturely stable. However, if you want to become a mature man, avoid making such jokes early on. Yes, I have witnessed this. It is never successful.

Additionally, please refrain from telling her she is as lovely as your ex. Yes, I have observed this as well. These are all indicators of immaturity, not of someone prepared to settle down.

When a woman reaches maturity, she looks for a partner who can provide. This is not always a matter of money, gentlemen. We are looking for a man that is ambitious and determined. However, let me be honest with you: women want to know that you can take care of their fundamental requirements, such as supper, travel, and fun activities. Something you can do together. When it comes to dating, many guys I interact with date women who earn more money than they do, which is perfectly OK. However, gentlemen, let me tell you something: this does not negate the reality that women desire to be provided

for. Make this a temporary habit. You may not always earn more money than she does, depending on the circumstances. However, you must ensure that you are standing your ground and doing your part.

I see so many women assisting their guys and then becoming resentful. Take heed of what I'm saying; if you can do anything to avert this, you must seize control. Do not take up residence in a woman's home, drive her car, or expect her to pay your phone bill. She will develop resentment, which is not how a woman wishes to be treated.